First Month of Dating: What to Expect

05.10.2018

When we start dating we are either too careful or too bold with our expectations. We rarely take our romantic life in the let-it-will-be-way. And it's quite understandable, we all experience high hopes or we are too afraid to get burned.

High Hopes

Quite often we are too naive and we believe that our romantic relationships will last forever. While it is quite logical, and probably, the only way to keep on dating cause otherwise we are just going to stop dating after we get burned once, but our high hopes often make us blind. We might not notice the danger and continue to pursue relationship that won't work anyway.

After the Ceasefire

After a painful breakup we often don't feel like dating at all, and if we do, we are getting too cautious about our prospective partners. We constantly suspect our prospective partners in turning out to be wrong people for us. Once again we are getting blinded by our suspicions and completely miss the things we need to figure out in the first month of dating.

First Month of Dating Rules

Both of the above-mentioned cases lead us either into a relationship that would be absolutely wrong for us or to losing our partners. In the first case, we continue making the mistake of blindly believing that everything will be fine this time, without learning anything and changing things that you have to change. In the second case you make a mistake of thinking that if someone had hurt you, everybody is going to hurt you. But why is it happening? How to find a perfect balance of naivety and cautiousness to go on dating without worrying about your partner turning out to be the wrong one? Well, a small talk with a shrink can definitely help, but there are other things that you need to consider. You need to learn the rules of the first month of dating, which we offer you to check out without further ado.

1. Keep The Boundaries

If you wonder what to expect in the first month of dating and you don't want to have unpleasant surprises, you should keep the boundaries. It doesn't mean that you should keep yourself cold as ice all the time, but there is no need to be in a hurry if you want to figure out whether your date mate is your perfect match or not. By setting the boundaries you show your prospective partners things that are acceptable and unacceptable for you. Setting the boundaries also help to sort out whether your date mate is eager to respect your boundaries. If your date doesn't show respect to your boundaries, the best solution is to just walk away as soon as possible. It will save time for both you and your date mate, as people who don't respect each other rarely work out as a couple.

2. Accept The Awkwardness

If you are a person who prefers controlling everything, it is quite obvious that you are going to get confused by the awkward moments that generally happen in the first month of dating. Awkward moments can easily make you give up on the whole idea of dating that particular person. But you need to accept the awkwardness, as first month of dating or relationship is going to be filled with awkward moments. There is no point in getting scared of them. So, stop worrying and accept the awkwardness.

3. Don't Pretend

A lot of people who consider their being alone as torture tend to pretend to be someone else first month in a relationship. That's the wrongest thing that one can do in the first month of dating. Sooner or later your true self is going to show up and your partner is going to abandon you. While you can feel a little bit insecure, you should avoid pretending. Although it can secure you a successful dating stage, you won't be able to develop your relationship. So, don't pretend and be yourself. While you may consider yourself to be a loser in dating, being yourself is the only way to find your perfect match.

4. Don't Jump On Conclusions

There are a lot of ways to jump on conclusions during the first month of dating. Considering the previous point and the fact that a lot of people try to pretend in the first month of a new relationship, it's useless to jump on conclusion within that time. Okay, your date mate may have acted rudely on one occasion or sounded stupid on another one. There is no point in jumping on to conclusions that your date mate is generally rude or stupid. Only when your partner shows something that irritates you on every date, you can make a conclusion.

5. Don't Over-Invest

Sometimes when you start dating a person, who seems absolutely perfect in his/her dating profile and makes a good impression on the first date, you tend to invest yourself too much into a prospective relationship. There is no need to be in a hurry. Give it time to develop. Check a few times whether your prospective partner is that perfect as he/she seems. Don't over-invest yourself into your prospective relationship, as you can easily end up with a person that just doesn't fit you.

6. Learn To Communicate

A lot of people prefer dating with a poker face figuring out whether their date mates are suitable partners. But there is one thing you need to do within the first month of dating to figure out whether you are dating your prospective partner or not. You need to learn to communicate with you partner. If your communication goes well, you should really consider your date mate as your prospective partner. Being able to communicate means being able to talk over a lot of difficult moments that may arise in the course of your relationship development. If your communication goes nowhere, then there is no point to date that person.

7. Don't Harp On The Rules Too Much

While it may seem quite contradictory, there is no need to harp too much on the rules. Yes, we advise you to follow them, but there is no need to follow them blindly. Despite all the rules given above and all the rules that other articles can give you, you should listen to your heart and your senses. Sometimes a person who doesn't fit in with your or articles' perfect image can turn out to be your perfect match.

Things to Find Out in First Month of Dating

Now, after learning the rules of the first month of dating, it's time to talk about the things you need to figure out during that time. Basically, we are going to give you tips to what you need to pay attention to in the first month of dating. And we offer you to check them out without further ado if you want to know what to expect in the first month of a relationship.

1. What Are You Both Looking For?

The very first thing that you need to figure out in the course of the first month of dating is to what you and your date mate are looking for. Are you both looking for a long-term relationship or are more into just having fun? Do you both want to have a steady partner or one of you is not sure what he/she is looking for? In case you are both looking for a long-term relationship, then you are on the right track. In case one of you is not sure what he or she is looking for, most likely you won't work out as a couple.

2. Are You On The Same Page?

Another thing that you need to figure out in the first month of dating is whether you are on the same page with your date mate. Is it only you who is ready to proclaim your date mate your partner or you both think that way? There is no need to be in a hurry if your date mate is not sure about your future together. Sometimes it is better to hold your horses. Mind that you need to be open with your partner to figure out whether you are on the same page or not.

3. Figure Out Your Life Values

Do you share the same core values or not? A gap between core life values can be a great problem in your relationship development. Such things as religion and political views affect your relationship greatly. Needless to say that having different core values can affect your couple's existence even greater. Now, think, you are into traveling, while your date mate is into sitting at home. While you think that you can work out quite fine, sooner or later you are going to face jealousy from your partner.

• "Why can't you spend that time with time?" your partner would ask.
• "Why don't you travel with me?"
• "Traveling is more precious to you than me..."

Think of it. It's just one example. If you have different core values and none of you is eager to give in, most likely you won't work out as a couple.

4. Are You Going to Have/Give Enough Freedom

Freedom is quite an important thing when it comes to romantic relationships. We all need alone time, even when we've met our perfect match. And we need to figure out how eager your prospective partner is to give you your freedom. Generally, signs of whether your prospective partner is okay with you having your alone time or not show up in the first month of dating. If your date mate starts acting like a stalker, checks out how often you show up on social media and phoning you every minute, you really need to talk it over to sort things out. And if it doesn't help, splitting up is probably your best option. You should also check out whether you are eager to give your prospective partner freedom.

5. Do You Suit Each Other in Bed?

Yep, it's an important point of your future relationship. Different sexual drives often lead to breaking up. It is quite easy to figure that out when you have sex within the first month of dating. If you are against having sex in the first month of dating, you can be disappointed afterward. So, mind and check out sexual drives of each other at the early stages of your relationship. Otherwise, you may experience scandals on why your partner is cheating on you afterward.

6. Do Your Goals Match?

Figuring out your goals is as important as figuring out your core values. Mind that if you are planning to move to another city or to another country, while your partner is quite okay with staying where he or she is right now, you are most likely to experience problems in your relationship. That's why you need to figure out whether your life goals match or not in the first month of dating. Being open about your goals is quite important, if you are looking for a long-term relationship.

7. Is It Really Time?

Last but not least, you need to figure out is it really time to look for a long-term relationship. If in previous points you need to pay attention to your partner, now you need to analyze yourself. Think what was the reason behind your previous relationship ending. Maybe you weren't ready for a long-term relationship, after all? Make sure that you are ready for them before you go on looking for a steady partner.