How to Know If You Are a Sapiosexual?


The word “sapiosexual” appeared a few years ago and became quite popular - there are already a lot of forums on this topic, profiles of sapiosexuals on Facebook, and some dating sites even added the option “sapiosexual” as an official sexual orientation. Is sapiosexual a real thing? What is a sapiosexual person? What does it actually mean? Now, we are going to define a sapiosexual and give some tips on dating such a person.

what is a sapiosexual person

What is a sapiosexual?

A sapiosexual is one who considers a well-developed intellect the most sexually attractive feature. Such people choose a partner with the most penetrating, inquisitive, and daring mind, and they call philosophical discussion the best prelude to love. The opposite of sapiosexual is the attraction only to a person’s appearance.

Sapiosexuals can usually boast a high IQ and, therefore, are able to see and appreciate the erudition and eloquence of other people. Such individuals have a broad outlook, they can easily use metaphors and often answer silly questions with irony.

Sapiosexuality is not officially recognized as a scientific term and is not used by sexologists and other sexual health professionals. They explain it by the fact that it does not make sense to allocate the attraction to a high order of intelligence as a separate orientation. After all, we do not single out, for example, the desire for financial wealth. In addition, each of us assesses the level of intelligence in different ways.

But why then the popularity of sapiosexuality does not stop growing? According to experts, this is due to the rapid development of technology and the special admiration that scientists and inventors cause in people today. Of course, the media plays a big role in the growth of this trend. Not for nothing, many heroes of the television series are geniuses that cannot boast of enormous muscle mass and ideal features, but still attract women like a magnet due to their brilliant intellect.

How to know if you're a sapiosexual

If you want to find out whether you are a sapiosexual or not, there are 11 basic signs of such people.

1. An intellectual and deep conversation inspires you and causes interest in a person

Informative conversations are what you need all the time. You appreciate when your partner shares his thoughts or speaks about what he really knows inside out. You not only admire it but also consider the most attractive feature in a person.

2. Diplomas and certificates do not matter - the level of IQ is important to you

You dig down deeper. If a person is superficial, you get bored. You cannot even imagine how you can live with him for the rest of your life. You crave mental training; for you, it's exciting and more interesting than all the material benefits and social status of your partner.

3. You like to debate

If someone challenges you in terms of discussions, you get a rush. You adore such interlocutors, as they can expand your intellectual horizons and enrich your knowledge. You do not consider them stubborn or pretentious but admire their zeal and ability to engage in smart conversations.

4. Physical attraction is good, but the quality dialogue is even better

Yes, physical attractiveness is important. However, if it’s just a pretty face, you get tired of it quickly. For you, the key factor is the intellectual component, and no matter how attractive a person is, if he cannot deepen your knowledge, then you do not want to waste time on him.

5. The more you recognize a person, the more you like him

While most people can fall into the trap of “love at first sight,” you are not in a hurry to start a relationship. Initially, a person may not be the most popular in a company, but he interests you with his worldview and pungency of wit, and your attraction to him is growing.

6. You hate empty talkpolyamorous sapiosexual

You feel physically uncomfortable when someone cannot keep an interesting conversation and prefers to gossip. For you, this is a real nightmare, since you would rather sit in silence than react to a person’s comments on stupid topics.

7. Stupidity or ignorance repels you

You cannot tolerate those who need to assert themselves through aggression or grandstanding. You are intolerant to outright stupidity and ignorance. But you admire those who can make out a case, showing deep knowledge.

8. You prefer to get acquainted in a bookstore, not in a bar

You do not go to nightclubs to get acquainted with someone. Instead, the man of your dreams is more likely to be found in a bookstore or at the premiere of a popular science film. You need an intellectual companion for life, not a wild dancing partner.

9. You are a good listener

You love to learn something new and have excellent listening skills. It not only increases your knowledge and skills but also shows the value of the very conversation with a person who is passionate about knowledge and is able to express his thoughts correctly. You can listen to such an interlocutor for hours.

10. You are a "grammar fan" and make no secret of it

Any mistakes in speech or writing instantly push you away from a person. You are automatically disconnected and can no longer continue communicating with him.

11. You always want to study

The idea of staying at home and watching documentaries about the structure of the universe is perfect for you. You grasp for any chance to develop and learn something. You look for people who are smarter than you so that you have a room for improvement. You enroll for courses on topics that you do not understand, because you perceive it as a challenge and want to learn something new. Therefore, when a person does not share such an "intellectual thirst", then you quickly lose interest in him.

Sapiosexual dating

Polyamorous sapiosexuals are always open for communication - they can be found on the Internet, on a sapiosexual dating site, in a time club reading a book, at a concert of classical music, or in a museum. They are often successful in business or science, but it’s harder for them to find a loved one because sapiosexuals have only one but extremely demanding criterion - the sharp mind!

The very emergence of such a type of people and relationships in the modern world speaks volumes! It shows that important values in a relationship return - common interests, a desire for mutual development, and healthy competition in an intellectual duel. The phrase "smart is the new sexy" has become the motto of the XXI century. And relationships based on the attraction to the intellect promise to be stronger, unlike those that are related to external attractiveness.

The brain is the largest sexual organ. Sapiosexuals are people who are never excited at the sight of fools. For flirting, they need an intelligent, smart, and ironical companion. Sapiosexuals may use philosophical, political, or psychological discussions as preludes because they are upmost in the thoughts of such people.

In a world where information becomes the main value, such parameters as gender, age, personal status, and even external attractiveness are less important. At birth, each of us receives a body and can improve it to a certain limit. In turn, intelligence can be developed in a much wider range.

In addition, intelligence is a convenient basis for building relationships. If we talk about a harmonious relationship, the union of two smart and intellectually developed people will certainly be favorable. Both partners know what they want, so it’s easier for them to avoid misunderstanding.

An important bonus in relations with sapiosexual men is that such a person does not want to see next to him a "woman - mother" or "woman - hen," he needs a companion for life. Mutual intellectual development is the main component of romantic relationships with sapiosexuals. It seems that the statement "men love with eyes" has been shaken in the XXI century!

How to turn on a sapiosexual

Do not worry if you fall in love with a sapiosexual, but consider yourself smart enough to win his heart. There are some sure tips on how to turn on a sapiosexual and make him interested in you.

Read more

Wikipedia isn't your assistant in this case. If you still can conquer a school teacher with quotations from the Internet, then a sapiosexual will immediately catch you on. Start with mythology. 10 out of 100 people do not know who Apollo is. So, be sure to read the classical literature. Watch for new books, knowledge of contemporaries is a plus.

Train your eruditionis sapiosexual a real thing

Smart people are always enthusiastic. Find a topic in which you will have no peers. It may be the works of Dostoevsky, landscape design, or the history of ancient Greece. Cross stitching is appropriate too. In general, it should be something creative. Clichéd templates do not impress a sapiosexual.


Travelers are always sexy. A person who can show Paris or Rome without tedious guides will immediately win any heart. However, it cannot be done with the help of the school course of geography and history. Travel, discover the world, learn new things, become interesting for yourself, and then you will be interesting to a sapiosexual.

Develop a taste

If you are not a descendant of nobles with innate manners and taste, do not worry. Everything can be put right. You just should try to attend art exhibitions, watch festival films, visit theaters and museums, and listen to classical music.

Communicate with interesting people

Attend lectures and master classes for writers, scholars, and businessmen. These self-confident people can give the very necessary advice that will help you keep an intellectual conversation. Also, you can communicate with sapiosexuals, it is easy.

Think more, speak less

Sapiosexuals do not like talkers. Name at least one intelligent hero who talks a lot. He only thinks a lot and sometimes smiles mysteriously. Such a person can keep the conversation and make an acerbic comment but always stands back from empty talks. Sapiosexuals want their loved one to be such a person.

Stock up on dictionaries

Sapiosexuals would never cast their lot in with a person whose vocabulary is 30 words. Make it a rule: develop your vocabulary with one word every day. To do it, you should have a notebook where you can write down all the unfamiliar words and their meanings.