Why We Feel Bored in a Relationship and How to Avoid It

18.12.2019

A man and a woman who have been living side by side for several years begin to get tired of each other sooner or later. Emotional fatigue, unfortunately, is inherent in many couples. It is almost impossible to avoid this, but this is not a reason to despair and let things flow. If you decide to live by the principle “come what may,” then don’t be surprised when boredom will finally destroy your relationship. But those who want to compete for their love will have to make a lot of efforts to make family life as interesting, dynamic, and multifaceted as possible.

According to family psychologists, boredom in a relationship is the main reason for a breakup. Of course, various quarrels lead to destroying of strong relationships, but it is precisely hopeless boredom and the complete absence of any common interests that more often than scandals and quarrels become causes of breakups. So, how to make a boring relationship interesting?

What Is Boredom in a Relationship and Why Does It Appear?

Boredom is a feeling of gloom caused by the monotony of life. It is easy to imagine how a person is bored alone, but boredom together is very difficult to imagine. It doesn’t matter whether partners are in the initial phase of the relationship or at its peak.

“Why do I feel bored in my relationship?”- many people may ask. It’s not very clear how they can live in a boring relationship, in which they directly admit to themselves and others that they don’t need anything. Men start looking for single ladies for dating, and women go on dates with other men. Such a relationship has no sense. Why? If someone decides to be in a relationship with another person, it’s not only to wash dishes from time to time but also there is interest in each other. In relationships, it is extremely important to regularly interest each other, despite how much has already been completed together.

Of course, over time, partners begin to find out different things about each other. Over time, the guy already knows how poorly his girlfriend sings, and the girl knows how loudly he snores. But this shouldn’t be some kind of finish to the relationship. On the contrary, this can be considered a starting point.

Major Mistakes That Would Result in a Boring Relationship

Are your relationships constantly developing in the same scenario and inevitably end in a painful breakup? You visit a ladies dating site, find a girl, start living together, and… what a surprise – your relationship becomes boring. If this is so, then perhaps the whole point is that you make the same mistake all the time.

Moving too fast

With the fast development of relationships, there is always a chance that you will get tired of each other quickly. It is called "information overload" when we are forced to analyze a huge amount of data. Every day with a person under the same roof will be a real test, which may turn out to be insurmountable. For example, today you will find out that a person snores so that the walls are shaking, and tomorrow you will understand that your loved one is a slob. You have to dictate your rules, but not everyone likes it.

Lack of personal space

Even though people live in society and interact with each other every day, we have our personal things, needs, and interests. Everyone wants to be alone from time to time and devote time exclusively to themselves. Therefore, an attempt on personal space causes extremely negative emotions. It is especially unpleasant when this happens in a relationship.

Too much comfort

At the beginning of a relationship, everyone tries to be the best version of themselves. We always look nice, always shaved and don’t discuss anything that doesn’t contribute to improving the dynamics of relationships. When you become too comfortable in a relationship, you risk losing them. When we enter into a relationship, we give them constant attention, take care of ourselves, our partner and make efforts to strengthen our relationship. Over time, we settle in our family nest and as a result, relationships suffer.

Predictability

As soon as predictability appears in a relationship, they lose their “gloss.” Even in marriage, spouses must remain completely misunderstood by each other for not saying, "I’m in a boring relationship and my partner is a crashing bore." And when you look at each other as a built Lego constructor, this is the end. Boredom is predictability. It arises when you and your partner know each other well, begin to trust and become confident in your relationship.

Spending too much time together

Many of us devote too much time to love affairs, and this can cause many problems. Many sacrifice their studies or work to see their lovers as much as possible and spend time with them. But this position does harm. Don’t quit your job or miss classes just because you are in love and think about your beloved every minute.

Main Signs of Boredom in a relationship

Relationships often go into such a phase when people become bored with their partners and are no longer feel that spark as in the beginning. If this happened to you, this is the signal to which you should pay all your attention. But there are other boring relationship signs as well.

Indifference

One of the partners began to notice that he/she had become completely indifferent to the life of a soulmate. Gradually it becomes a habit to ignore conversations, and the person becomes uninteresting where the loved one spends free time, what happens at work and even has a calm attitude towards possible infidelity.

Different interests

My relationship is getting boring… Well, maybe you have different interests? The absence of joint affairs and mutual interests becomes a sign of the flow of love into the habit of being together. The rest of the interests are also different, and only life is the connecting link between partners. Each of the partners seems to have their own world where there is no access to the other, and they refuse to understand it. It becomes clear that it’s easier to be apart than with a person who doesn’t accept your interests. Gradually, the need for communication disappears and becomes a burden.

Constant thinking about life without your partner

This is definitely the beginning of the end. Are you constantly thinking about ending your relationship? What about just disappearing and never coming back? Many think about it but don’t want to stay alone. But, if you can imagine your life without your partner, then what are you waiting for?

Flirting with others

Another sign that not everything is so smooth in a relationship is flirting. You pay attention to other people and flirt with them. Suppose you don’t even mean anything bad, but the fact that you allow yourself a little more than just communication says that you need to look for the reasons for your “change of coordinates” in the relationship. You just feel that you lack love and understanding from your soulmate.

Irritation

The chosen one causes irritation. Imperfections that seemed cute, now cause irritation and disgust. It appears because of harmless household habits. Irritation is balanced by pity, indulgence. You are mad at your partner and, at the same time, you can’t end a relationship. The game of self-affirmation is bad soil for a healthy and strong relationship. Such a vicious circle will lead to emotional exhaustion.

How to Avoid Boredom in a Relationship

Over time, any couple faces boredom. The longer your relationships last, the more likely you will be overwhelmed by disappointment. However, there is always hope for a cure. You need to take urgent action. So, look at our boring relationship advice.

Leave more time for yourself

If the relationship has become more monotonous, this can be taken as an opportunity to take time for yourself. What to do if your relationship is boring? Go in for sports, find a new hobby, and so on. This will delight you and immediately affect your significant other. Don’t wait for the partner to come up with entertainment. It’s much more effective to start with yourself. Seeing how interesting and fun you are, your soulmate will also be drawn to this process.

Go traveling together

If you need boring relationship help, then here it is – you should change the surroundings. In this case, many psychologists recommend leaving the house from time to time and go to some resort for a short time. Thus, you will be able to break out of the daily routine and immerse yourself in the romance that was characteristic of the beginning of your relationship. You will return home with new sensations and strengths.

Try new activities in everyday life

If it becomes boring, then there is nothing better than to conduct joint activities that may “rekindle” the fire in your relationship. Thus, you will spend time together and get enough time to focus on each other and your relationship. You can look for other ways to spend time together and get rid of the boredom in a relationship. It can be anything from cycling on a weekend to exploring the surrounding area or walking to the new destination.

Learn a new language together and speak it

I have a boring relationship what to do? Set a common goal! But this goal has to be truly common (not only in terms of the interest of both partners in it but also in terms of the means to achieve it). For example, it can be foreign languages. You must understand that only together you can get what you want. A common goal can unite you and bring additional meaning to your life. This is a kind of award that is given to you for the high quality of work.

Make future plans

Months have passed, and you are ready to start making plans for the future with your partner. You are madly in love with each other and have repeatedly proved this with your actions. Everything becomes very serious between you two. Loving couples plan, discuss, dream in detail. When these images depress, get boring, and new dreams appear without the desire to devote a loved one in them – these are bad signs.

In most cases, when relationships become boring, you should first pay attention to yourself and come up with things to do with your girlfriend when bored. We are ready to blame the partners, but in fact, it was not they who have changed, it was our expectations and desires. We mentally live in a honeymoon period, while there is a stage of more serious and mature relationships. Look at the situation soberly, analyze what is happening to you, and take steps towards your loved ones – don’t wait for them to do everything for you.